When it Comes to Gourmet Burgers, it’s Okay if Your Pinkie is Up
Gourmet burgers are the chance for your inner gourmet to gourmet. When you’re looking for a wise selection, don’t skip your local gourmet burger restaurant. Sit on a sophisticated stool. Sample sinful sodas. Love the lettuce. And bask in the beauty of bacon. Gourmet burgers are an institution – all of the finest restaurants with the finest wines and the finest cocktail forks have them on the menu, but where you need to be is a gourmet burger restaurant. By the time you leave a gourmet burger restaurant, you’ll be like the young sophisticate, fresh out of finishing school, and ready to show the world what real elegance is on the gourmet burger menu.
Wine and cheese parties are one of the atrociously-wealthy’s best kept secrets. You start with a selection of hand-picked wines from the greatest collection in the world, and then move to a platter of amazingness. From triple-cream brie to gorgonzola to muenster to herbed goat cheese, you will smear a little on a (potentially tasty little gourmet) cracker, and talk fancily about it with people talking fancily about the wine you started with. These little smears can’t do much for you on a cracker, but you can gourmet away with the fancy cheese on a gourmet burger. Grab a little and pop it between your buttered buns with some onion and now your inner gourmet can gourmet.
No gourmet is above loving/worshipping bacon. Now think of finely-cured, rich bacon that makes your regular crunchy breakfast bacon seem like uncultured swine, and you’ve got charcuterie! Prosciutto isn’t the only fine little meaty addition that’s made its way onto ultra-fine gourmet burgers. Coppa, salami, bresaola, and lots of different pates have found new, albeit temporary, homes on gourmet burgers. Too bad they won’t be home long before home gets eaten.
When we talk about the epitome of what makes gourmet actually gourmet, we talk about handmade, unique sauces only offered on the most auspicious occasions, such as a last-minute trip to Burgerim. There is no greater gourmet burger experience than licking the mixture of sauce and grease off of the side of your wrist before it gets to your elbow. Gourmet burger restaurants won’t let you go without the indubitably elegant experience of the Grease Lick, and you’re a prime candidate for the experience if you don’t believe in wasting perfectly good burger grease on a napkin.
One part dirty farmer’s hands, one part white gloves, adding an egg to your gourmet burger experience is the way that you show everyone that you don’t miss the chance to give your gourmet burger an extra boost of protein. Maybe you like the egg pickled, and perfectly sliced on an open-faced burger. Maybe you are too far along in your etiquette to eat anything without a fork and knife. Or maybe you’re just waiting for someone to look away while you put the whole thing in your mouth. Use a quail egg, or a chicken egg, and you’ve got one lovely gourmet burger.